Christianity is such a blessing to me most of the time, but seems like a bondage at others. Why is this? When I was first ill, no-one gave me satisfying answers to a myriad of spiritual questions. Our professionals won't deal with faith issues and even my church pastor, who had no experience with mental illness, left me to the psychiatrist when his prayers didn't help me for long. Throughout my illness, Eastern meditations were often recommended (and I know still are) to help reduce stress, but anything Christian was and is a "no-no".
Christians with mental illness can feel alone in the world today. Our beliefs are not as freely accepted as they once were and we can even feel a form of persecution from people who see things differently. Because of our numerous church denominations and non-denominations, with various ideas and ways to worship, it is easy to become confused. And with so much negativity and rejection of our paricular views. it isn't surprising that Christians with mental illness tend to be quiet about it. In this way I see that, in some ways our wonderful faith has become a type of bondage.
I believe that those of us who have come to know God through Jesus, could never find fulfilment anywhere else than in Him. He who binds us to Himself in love, has the truth that frees us from all other bondages. Though at times we may be confused and lack understanding of what we're suffering and why, the certainty that God will eventually and faithfully give us the blessing of peace we seek, keeps us from despair. It was God's many encouragements to trust Him to save and deliver me from all my troubles, that kept me persevering in difficult times.
I hope you, my blogging friends, will feel free to share your spiritual and faith concerns with me and others. Also that you'll write of how you're recovering from your particular disorder. I'm sure blogging is so popular with those who live with, or who have lived with a mental illness. for we can encourage one another without stigma or judgment. I still find it hard to find those wiith schizophrenia, though, - people with mood disorders seem to be more into blogging. I wonder why this is? I really want to hear from those with schizophrenia, so I can continue to test my theory of the triggers that began my own illness and those of others I've encouraged.
I will continue to post about what led to my own suffering, some of what that looked like, and how God gradually and faithfully set me free from every fear and confusion - which led to freedom from psychosis. I can't give Him enough thanks and praise. Keep on believing!
Blessings,
Annie
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