Voices gone (continued)

While working at my proper and positive focus for my eyes as explained last post, I learned that God doesn't speak in our minds. He talks to us in our spirit, which is near our heart - in gentle, quiet thoughts that don't frighten, confuse or take control. We then can process what we hear there in our minds and decide whether or not to receive them or reject them. Since the Holy Spirit of God is how we receive them first, and God is love, we have no trouble accepting His positive, loving and wise thoughts.

The fearful, threatening,loud and nattering voices on the other hand are heard in our heads and are definitely not from God or anything good. I knew that I had to reject these totally in order to be rid of them. I realized that they had been remaining because I thought I might miss something God wanted to say to me and I would be telling Him to go. Once I got definite about wanting them to leave me they did. They would only return for a little if my mind was torn again through some serious confusion. As I learned to trust God to give me the guidance I needed in my confusion, or to accept that I didn't need an answer now, I'd find peace again. The voices would then leave again. For around 13 years I haven't heard these voices, because God helps me to overcome fear and confusions by His grace and truth. Impatience and disobedience to His will are still areas I have to work at.

Next time I'll share more about why long-term and excessive fear of failure to succeed, confusion of direction or truth, and impatience lead us to our psychoses. I'll also give some powerful scriptures to counteract those triggers for fear. (I should explain here that the 3 triggers I mention for psychoses here are those I've found in sufferers of schizophrenia that I have encouraged.. I believe that different triggers like long-term and excessive anger or unforgiveness are involved in those with other disorders).

As with all my posts, these comments are from my own experience with my illness and are shared in the hope that what worked for me will help others.

Blessings,

Annie

Voices no more

One of the most difficult problems to deal with in mental illness is hearing voices. I had two different types that troubled me - the first were loud and threatening or in some way very negative, and the second were just bothersome, nattering on and on about nonsense. I personally believe these were different kinds of spirits, but if you choose to accept they are some kind of hallucination that's OK.

The first kind came first and were a result of my extreme fear. The fear I had was from a threat of failure to succeed at an important life goal. This, combined with confusion over which of two directions I was to take and impatience to get the right answer provided the long-term and intense stress that I believe led to my chemical brain changes and psychoses.

The second kind, I discovered, were the result of the passive mind that came from my mind being torn in two over confusion of direction. Those with a schizophrenic personality apparently have a hard time making difficult decisions. The mind doesn't do well when it is goal-less or not strongly focussed positively. Thus, when I also had to deal with shame from letting God down (a personal failure) and from upsetting my family, who were devastated over my illness, I left my normally positive uplifting of my eyes and focus, and instead lowered my eyes to a negative focus.

There is more I could say about how this all leads to the voices, but for now I want to share about how to get back a positive and safe focus in order to make these disappear or at least get so quiet that they are almost indiscernable. For those who are Christian, the Bible tells us to lift our eyes up to the mountain (of the Lord) - a place of refuge for the mind. Another place tells us to look straight ahead, not to the left or the right. The voices I heard were from the right, left or down by my chin. I began to train my eyes to focus on the bridge of my nose (not higher) and to think positive and loving thoughts. The best is to praise and love Jesus. Gradually as I did this more and more, the voices quietened and left. For those who aren't Christian, just thinking loving and kind thoughts works too. There is a Budhist meditation called "Loving kindness" that has worked for some.  

This also worked to get rid of some types of visions. For others I needed to profess my belief that I had a sound mind given by God. The Bible tells us that believers are given the mind of Christ. So speaking my belief in this as truth for me and keeping a strong positive focus made them finally disappear.

I'll share more later.
Blessings for now.
Annie

Encouragement and hope talk

Sorry I've not been posting lately. I was preparing to give a talk for a group of mostly women who have an interest in mental illness. Some of those who attended were sufferers (you know I refuse to call patients "consumers"). By the way, where I live there's a new desire to come up with a nicer name for mental patients, perhaps because I brought the subject up at one of our MHAC (Mental Health Advisory Council)meetings. If any of you can suggest a good word that isn't so generic and cold, but would still not scream mentally ill to those who don't need to know, please share it with me.

My talk went well, according to my husband, who was there mainly to drive me the long distance and to sell my book to those interested.
I also got to speak personally and pray for some of those who were ill, after the talk, so I believe it was a successful evening all round.

Hope you're all doing well. I should be able to get down to some serious posting now.

Blessings,

Annie