Voices no more

One of the most difficult problems to deal with in mental illness is hearing voices. I had two different types that troubled me - the first were loud and threatening or in some way very negative, and the second were just bothersome, nattering on and on about nonsense. I personally believe these were different kinds of spirits, but if you choose to accept they are some kind of hallucination that's OK.

The first kind came first and were a result of my extreme fear. The fear I had was from a threat of failure to succeed at an important life goal. This, combined with confusion over which of two directions I was to take and impatience to get the right answer provided the long-term and intense stress that I believe led to my chemical brain changes and psychoses.

The second kind, I discovered, were the result of the passive mind that came from my mind being torn in two over confusion of direction. Those with a schizophrenic personality apparently have a hard time making difficult decisions. The mind doesn't do well when it is goal-less or not strongly focussed positively. Thus, when I also had to deal with shame from letting God down (a personal failure) and from upsetting my family, who were devastated over my illness, I left my normally positive uplifting of my eyes and focus, and instead lowered my eyes to a negative focus.

There is more I could say about how this all leads to the voices, but for now I want to share about how to get back a positive and safe focus in order to make these disappear or at least get so quiet that they are almost indiscernable. For those who are Christian, the Bible tells us to lift our eyes up to the mountain (of the Lord) - a place of refuge for the mind. Another place tells us to look straight ahead, not to the left or the right. The voices I heard were from the right, left or down by my chin. I began to train my eyes to focus on the bridge of my nose (not higher) and to think positive and loving thoughts. The best is to praise and love Jesus. Gradually as I did this more and more, the voices quietened and left. For those who aren't Christian, just thinking loving and kind thoughts works too. There is a Budhist meditation called "Loving kindness" that has worked for some.  

This also worked to get rid of some types of visions. For others I needed to profess my belief that I had a sound mind given by God. The Bible tells us that believers are given the mind of Christ. So speaking my belief in this as truth for me and keeping a strong positive focus made them finally disappear.

I'll share more later.
Blessings for now.
Annie